Re: Barbie and reverse stereotyping

["Nancy Whittier" <NWHITTIE email smith edu>]

I have a friend who got an American Girl doll off ebay.  I've thought
about doing that for my son, who wants one and moons over the catalog
whenever it arrives.

They are a marketing nightmare, and grossly overpriced.  But they are a
pretty decent gender model for girls.  

My 8-yo son WAS Madeline for a good year - we had to call him Madeline,
he changed into his Madeline clothes when he was home (and found
substitutes at daycare).  After that he was Dorothy (Oz), and then, more
briefly, Alice (Wonderland).  Most recently, he was Hermione from Harry
Potter - he had his white tights, plaid skirt, tie and vest...very
convincing.  But for the last year or so he seems to be getting out of
this phase, and doing more boy characters, although certainly not
exclusively.  I try to encourage him to play either boy or girl roles,
but I am happier with the girl ones.  This is both because, I think, I'm
more familiar with them from my own childhood pretending and because I
like the anti-stereotyping best.  But really that doesn't necessarily
serve the goal of encouraging him to be himself and follow his own
interests.

I wonder how I will feel if my daughter wants to be Madeline.  The
reverse stereotyping question is a very tricky one.

Nancy

>>> Margaret Christie <mmc220 comcast net> 01/21/04 01:30PM >>>
[Nancy:  I, too, replied only to Beth--so here it is for everyone]

Beth wrote:

>Now Charlie is showing interest in Barbie, and I actually like to see
him
>playing with these dolls.

I'm glad you brought this up, Beth, because I've been thinking about
the 
same thing.  My oldest, a boy, likes to play guns sometimes, and has
since 
he was quite small--I can first remember it before he was three.  It
really 
bothered me for a long time.  He's never been really obsessed, but he
did 
once chew a piece of toast into the shape of a gun!  Anyway, now one of
his 
sisters (also almost three) occasionally starts talking about how she
has a 
"shooter."  I find that I greet this totally differently than I did his
gun 
play.  Maybe (probably) I've mellowed some as a parent, but also I
think 
I'm glad to see them not fitting stereotypes, and sorry when they
do--in 
either case not really letting them be themselves (unless I
successfully 
keep my opinions to myself).

I noticed this recently going the other way, too.  My son (now almost
7) is 
loving the "American Girls" books and would really like one of the 
dolls.  I am turned off by the complete marketing package of books,
dolls, 
stories, names, and many many many accoutrements (all costing money),
but 
basically these seem like a fine thing to play with, and a big
improvement 
on Barbie.  I'm trying to convince my son's grandmother to give him one

(and that's another story:  she said "I saw a carpentry action figure I

thought he might like").  I have friends with girls, however, who hide
the 
American Girl catalogue, hoping they can keep them out of their
daughters' 
lives.  I think, as the mother of a boy, I'm delighted that he wants a

doll, and like Beth, that makes me care less about whatever I might 
otherwise have cared about:  hard sell marketing and $$ in the case of

American Girl, body image etc. in the case of Barbie.

And Beth, I don't know what I'd do about the Barbies.  I must say that
two 
things I hope I won't have to deal with, but expect I will, are Barbies
and 
a daughter or daughters who want to wear only dresses and party 
shoes.  Both these things make me crazy.  (And maybe there's another 
example of reverse stereotyping:  my son went through a long period of

wearing mostly dresses and it didn't bother me at all.  But it was
never 
hard to get him to change into pants for climbing or running or some
other 
activity where dresses really seem to me to be a drawback).

Margaret  


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