Split Superbowl Tea Party!

["Richard J. Barbalace" <rjbarbal MIT EDU>]

Who:    You, your SO, and anyone else you think likes tea.
What:   Eleventh Annual (Split) Superbowl Tea Party
Where:
        To not watch game:
        North Alveslohe, 182 Highland Ave., Apt. #2, Somerville, MA.
        To watch game:
        South Alveslohe, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
When:   Superbowl Sunday, 4pm-whenever.
Why:    Because nothing goes so well with bone-crushing tackles as 
crumpets.
How:    Positive RSVPs encouraged.  See below for directions.

FAQs:
 1) Relent to our demands now!  Down with crumpets!
        I fear I must acquiesce lest more protesters beat down my door 
than Mubarak's.
 2) Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
        That's not a question.
 3) Did all of us inviting ourselves over cause you to send out an 
invitation?
        There appeared to be no other viable exit strategy.
 4) What's this about a split party?
        If you want to actually watch the Superbowl, I suggest a lovely 
tea party being
        held in Baton Rouge.  (Ask for directions if you have a plane 
ticket.)  If you
        do not mind the possibility of no Superbowl watching, you are 
welcome at my
        apartment.
 5) Don't you have cable television?
        No.
 6) Don't you have a TV?
        No.
 7) Don't you have a totally hacked antenna/tuner/laptop/software/monitor
solution?
        Yes....
 8) So?
        The apartment is in the electromagnetic shadow of a nearby giant
steel-reinforced
        concrete building blocking the primary over-the-air broadcast 
station
televising the
        game, hence the difficulty we have had in the past couple years 
getting any
signal.
 9) Can we demolish the building?
        No, the nuns living there would disapprove.
10) Couldn't you just set up a strategically-placed isotropic 
omnidirectional
        Doppler-shift-correcting kilowatt high-gain antenna relay for 
capturing
        and repeating moon-bounced radiofrequency emissions like any 
respectable
        ham radio operator?
        Yeah, I thought of that, but my dish is buried under a Shaq of 
snow and crusted
ice.
11) What's a Shaq of snow?
        http://www.boston.com/news/weather/graphics/2011_snowfall/
12) Don't you have a shovel?
        You're welcome to borrow it.
13) Oh, anyways, about those crumpets....
        No, no crumpets!  We banished the crumpets.
14) Tea?
        Yes, there will be tea.
15) Cocoa?!
        Yes, there will be cocoa.
16) Scones?!?!
        Yes, there will be scones.
17) Puzzles??!??
        Yes, there will be puzzles.  Don't eat the puzzle pieces.
18) Babies!!?!!
        Yes, there will be babies.  Ditto.
19) Knitting!!!!!!
        Yes, there will be knitting, not by me.
20) Anything else?
        Maybe poetry if you ask nicely.
21) We won't.  Where do you live again?
        A map is available at:
                http://tinyurl.com/3dxslg
        The walk is about 15 minutes from either Porter Square or Davis 
Square.
        The 88 bus runs about every 30 minutes from Davis Square and stops
        almost right in front of our house.
22) When's the Superbowl?
        Oh, good grief.

+ Richard