RE: "Do you know what you're going to get?"

["LaRee Brown" <mommytotwins2003 yahoo com>]

I agree there's nothing wrong w/ caring whether you have a boy or a
girl. OTOH, I have huge problems with someone continuing to wish they'd
had a boy/girl (opposite of what they have)& vocalize that in front of
the child (totally not directing this at you, Beth). MIL's friend, Sue &
her (Sue's) dd, Caryn continue to "lament" the fact that Caryn had a boy
(instead of a girl). Garrett is now 5, I think, & from what I've seen
(which admittedly isn't much, I avoid these people whenever possible)
he's a sweet little boy, very well behaved & amazingly well adjusted
considering his mother. And it just KILLS me to hear them talk about how
much better it would have been if he'd been a girl with him sitting
RIGHT THERE!!!!!

Similarly, I was SO annoyed when, as soon as we announced my pregnancy,
MIL's first response was "oh, I hope it's a girl!" And at some point
before we knew the gender (or that it was twins LOL), she "elaborated"
on that to say that she hoped I had a girl because "if you have a boy
first, you won't want another one!" (ok . . . what are you saying about
your feelings for YOUR SON?!?!?!) 

At our 20 wk u/s we found out the gender (& that there were twins) but
didn't tell anyone. I can't count how many people (not knowing we knew
the genders) who said "hopefully you'll have girls, can you imagine TWO
boys?!?" and I had a couple different nurse's at my ped.'s office (who
DID know the gender & that we knew) comment on how "lucky" we were to be
having girls, because they're "so much easier" See how different kids
have different personalities because they're DIFFERENT KIDS, not because
they're boys or girls!!!!


LaRee & the twins
http://pages.ivillage.com/lareebrown/


-----Original Message-----
From: nonsexist-parenting-bounces cosmos phy tufts edu
[mailto:nonsexist-parenting-bounces cosmos phy tufts edu] On Behalf Of
Ken Olum
Sent: Tuesday, January 20, 2004 3:38 PM
To: Beth Bell astrazeneca com
Cc: nonsexist-parenting cosmos phy tufts edu
Subject: Re: "Do you know what you're going to get?"

   From: "Bell, Beth (M. Elizabeth)" <Beth Bell astrazeneca com>
   Date: Tue, 20 Jan 2004 08:42:29 -0500

   I'm guilty of this too.

I don't think there's anything wrong with caring whether you have a
son or daughter.  My complaint is that people treat these
possibilities as utterly unrelated instead of two different kinds of
person.

I have two older sisters and no brothers.  When my mother was pregnant
with me she informed everyone that she "just knew" that I would be a
girl, but she made the entire thing up.  She and especially my
grandfather wanted a boy, and she didn't want everyone to be
disappointed if it didn't turn out that way.

                        Ken


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