RE: [apmultiples] another rant from Valerie

["Nancy Whittier" <NWHITTIE email smith edu>]

Hey, another sociologist of gender!  I see the same views in my
students, even at a fairly feminist women's college (alas).  I've joked
that with boy-girl twins, I  now have a naturalistic experiment in
gender socialization (if I only had time to think harder about it).

What gets to me is how every attribute that is consistent with gender
stereotypes is chalked up to innate differences, while every attribute
that is inconsistent with gender stereotypes is just an insignificant
exception or a personality quirk.  A friend of mine with a very "girly"
boy was told that he was "not a real boy," therefore the characteristics
of "real boy" remain unchallenged by the boys who don't fit.

Nancy

>>> drwendi hotmail com 01/10/04 7:27 PM >>>
I am a sociologist and one of the areas I teach is gender socialization.
 
The views of my students never fail to amaze (and irritate) me.  They
are so 
convinced that there are innate differences and will point to the
flimsiest 
research data to support their arguments completely overlooking all the 
areas  in which boys and girls overlap.

I am also continually bombarded with people attributing my own
children's 
characteristics and personality to their gender.  Whenever someone says,
oh 
boys are this or girls are that I always contradict them and state no, 
that's just so and so's personality. My first daughter goes against a
lot of 
the gender stereotypes in that she was slow to talk and she is the only
one 
of my six children to have learning difficulties.

I would find this kind of discussion very interesting.

Wendi
mom to 6 from 9 months to 17 years
>From: Valerie White <valerie forevermail com>
>Reply-To: apmultiples yahoogroups com
>To: apmultiples yahoogroups com
>Subject: [apmultiples] another rant from Valerie
>Date: Sat, 10 Jan 2004 06:18:16 -0500
>
>My understanding is that there is essentially no credible research to
show
>INNATE differences between baby boys and girls (other than what's in
their
>diapers!), but that adults react to babies differently based on their
>perceived gender--one story I heard from a linguistics professor told
of
>the strong baby girl who was pulling herself up on her daddy's fingers
at
>the doctor's office and a passing woman said, "Oh, what a strong boy
you
>are!"  When Daddy said, "She's a girl," the woman said, "Isn't it nice
of
>Daddy to pull you up like that!"  In other words, as soon as she knew
the
>baby was a girl she stripped her of her agency.  Other research has
shown
>that parents are more protective of baby girls, respond more
>sympathetically to their cries when they get hurt exploring, keep them
>closer to hand . . .  It is something we need to be aware of  and try
to
>compensate for in order to make vigorous, assertive, self-actualizing,
>authentic girls!!  (And sensitive, caring, introspective boys!)
>
>In actual fact, our girl twin, who was TWO pounds lighter at birth, is
WAY
>more adventurous and physical than our boy twin . . . climbs
everywhere,
>runs everywhere, interacts with strangers, while he is intensely
engaged in
>making block towers or looking at books.
>
>Go figger.
>
>Valerie
>

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