[SOS-Boston] What goes on at an SOS meeting?

[Valerie White <valerie forevermail com>]

One subscriber to this list who has never been to an SOS meeting asked me 
the question, "What goes on at an SOS meeting?"

On reflection it seemed to me that others might also wonder and perhaps it 
would be worthwhile trying to answer it on the list.

Of course, SOS meetings vary depending on their size, location, leadership, 
composition, etc., but my experience has been that we begin by reading 
aloud some introductory materials from the national organization which 
explain the SOS philosophy and techniques.  Then we go around and introduce 
ourselves . . . first names only if you prefer . . . and say a few words 
about our state of sobriety.  Then we throw the meeting open for discussion 
of any topic related to addiction and recovery which people want to talk 
about.  If no one topic seems to materialize, we could start with someone 
telling his or her recovery story.  But it's seldom necessary!

Sometimes, in the early stages, people who have had bad experiences with 
other recovery groups need to do some venting about what happened to 
them.  12-step groups vary a lot in their tolerance of non-believers, and 
some people have had VERY bad experiences they need to talk about.  But I 
hope we can manage not to devote most of the meeting to "AA 
bashing".  People should remember that many folks who find value in SOS 
have also found value in other approaches . . .

AA and NA meetings, in my experience, have a rule about "no cross-talk", 
meaning it is considered inappropriate to respond directly to anything 
another person says.  I think the point is to avoid criticism and 
comparisons.  But I have found that, when people in early sobriety describe 
their difficulties with abstinence, they can get helpful advice and 
suggestions from veterans, and so I have never banned "cross-talk".    I 
would trust that people at an SOS meeting have an implied covenant to treat 
each other kindly and respectfully.

It should also be understood that anything said during the meeting is to be 
kept confidential, unless you have explicit permission to divulge something.

HOWEVER, that said, let me say that I myself am so far out of the closet 
that I can't find my shoes, and that you are at liberty to mention my name, 
my recovery, my affiliation with SOS or anything else about me.  It is my 
own position (not shared by all, I know), that people who are struggling 
with addiction need to know that there are happy, fulfilled, useful people 
out there who USED to drink or use addictively and who managed to get clean 
and sober.  In other words, people reaching for recovery need role models.

At the end of an hour, we close with a final reading and give ourselves a 
hand.

At some point during THIS meeting, we should talk about whether we want to 
meet again and if so when and where . . .

Hope this helps.  Any other questions?

Also, please consider giving rides home to people who came by train.

Valerie