[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

RE: [apmultiples] another rant from Valerie

I'd be interested in joining this discussion as well, I can't tell you
how many times I've heard "you're so lucky you have girls, think how
hard twin *boys* would be . . . " and don't get me started on my MIL's
views on the topic!

LaRee & the twins
http://pages.ivillage.com/lareebrown/

-----Original Message-----
From: Nancy Whittier [mailto:NWHITTIE email smith edu]
Sent: Saturday, January 10, 2004 10:21 AM
To: apmultiples yahoogroups com
Subject: Re: [apmultiples] another rant from Valerie

Yup, Valerie is right.  I'm a sociologist and gender is my area of
specialization...there is a TON of research showing that adults react
differently to babies depending on what gender they think they are. 

I don't want to start what is sure to be a really controversial thread
here, since I know people have very different ideas about gender
differences.  But as I'm parenting g/b twins, I have been thinking a lot
about gender socialization and non-sexist parenting.  (It was way easier
with our 8-yo son, since we just had one child and the day-to-day
comparisons were nil.)  If anyone is interested in corresponding about
these issues, I'd be really glad.  I was looking online the other day
trying to find a good email forum on non-sexist parenting, but didn't
turn one up.  If anyone knows of one, let me know.  Otherwise, maybe we
could start a sub-list on the topic.  Let me know if you're interested.

Nancy

>>> valerie forevermail com 01/10/04 6:18 AM >>>
My understanding is that there is essentially no credible research to
show
INNATE differences between baby boys and girls (other than what's in
their
diapers!), but that adults react to babies differently based on their
perceived gender--one story I heard from a linguistics professor told of

the strong baby girl who was pulling herself up on her daddy's fingers
at
the doctor's office and a passing woman said, "Oh, what a strong boy you

are!"  When Daddy said, "She's a girl," the woman said, "Isn't it nice
of
Daddy to pull you up like that!"  In other words, as soon as she knew
the
baby was a girl she stripped her of her agency.  Other research has
shown
that parents are more protective of baby girls, respond more
sympathetically to their cries when they get hurt exploring, keep them
closer to hand . . .  It is something we need to be aware of  and try to

compensate for in order to make vigorous, assertive, self-actualizing,
authentic girls!!  (And sensitive, caring, introspective boys!)

In actual fact, our girl twin, who was TWO pounds lighter at birth, is
WAY
more adventurous and physical than our boy twin . . . climbs everywhere,

runs everywhere, interacts with strangers, while he is intensely engaged
in
making block towers or looking at books.

Go figger.

Valerie


"There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day." -
Alexander Woollcott, American Author


Yahoo! Groups Links

To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/apmultiples/

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
apmultiples-unsubscribe yahoogroups com

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/





"There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day." -
Alexander Woollcott, American Author



  _____ 

Yahoo! Groups Links
*         To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/apmultiples/
 
*         To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
apmultiples-unsubscribe yahoogroups com
<mailto:apmultiples-unsubscribe yahoogroups com?subject=Unsubscribe>
 
*         Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
<http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>  Service.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

"There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day." - Alexander Woollcott, American Author


Yahoo! Groups Links